also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
