i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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