Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize