I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
