he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My dick has a subreddit
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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