Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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