dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize