New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
