why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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