moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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