Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
