i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
