Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize