I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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