I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
