I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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