SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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