Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
