you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
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I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
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do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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