If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
