Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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