Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
