I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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