alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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