What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
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