I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
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there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
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I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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