i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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