i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize