How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
