No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
