I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
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They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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