ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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