Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
