Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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