Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
