Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK

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(480): View more from Arizona

p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life

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(914): View more from New York

Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.

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(281): View more from Texas

Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles

(205): View more from Alabama

for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today

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(641): View more from Iowa

I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.

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(912): View more from Georgia

It's not kidnapping if it's romantic

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(440): View more from Ohio

im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts

(815): View more from Illinois

Maybe I will go to the company picnic

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