Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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