i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
