He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
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Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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