Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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