she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
