i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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