I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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