Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
party gras won. party gras always wins.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
