I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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