tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
