My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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