remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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