this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
