seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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