Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize