Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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