i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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