guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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