She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize