Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
