No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
