It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
