the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
