Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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