The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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