HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
just found out that she named her cat after me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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