He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
