He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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