Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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