my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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