"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize